Episode 228: Parenting with Essential Oils

doTERRA: Parenting can bring unique challenges into our lives but today we'll talk about some tools you can use every day in your parenting. Welcome back to Essential Oil Solutions with doTERRA, the podcast where you'll hear exciting, useful, and simple everyday uses for essential oils from experts in the field.

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Today we're excited to talk to Melissa Corkum about how you can utilize essential oils in your parenting.

Melissa, thank you so much for sitting down with us today.

Melissa Corkum: Thanks so much for having me.

doTERRA: We are so excited to talk about this topic. So, to start us off, will you tell us about your background and what it is that you do?

Well, I was introduced to doTERRA in 2014 and have been a Wellness Advocate since then. And in addition to that, I'm also a Post-adoption Support Specialist. And so, all the work that I do in that area is really about providing deep transformation and healing for adoptees, whether it's working with the parents of adopted youth or directly with adult adoptees.

Lifestyle Routines with Children

doTERRA: That is incredible. Now, you know, like you said, you work with a lot of children every single day. And one of the things that we want to know is what are some of the lifestyle routines that we can do with our own children, with children in our lives, to start things off on the right foot?

Melissa: So, we have six kids and two grandkids. And also, like you said, work with a lot of families. And those families are working with children. And we love teaching parents, caregivers and even kids about their own nervous systems.

And we know that children, really all people, but specifically since we're talking about kids, do best when they're getting what we call "signals of safety" from adults. And those can be kind of like explicit things, like we're telling them, hey, I'm here for you, tell me what's wrong.

Or it could just be an offer to connect, like in a neutral way, like, you know, right before bed or before you put your kid on the bus. But then there's also a lot of subconscious signals our nervous system is sending, right?

Like, we might be feeling an internal sense of stress, like we're recording right before the holidays, like all this anticipation extra things. And that also our kids are picking up on how we are actually doing internally. And so, I love to think about our nervous systems and how we're connecting with our kids and then how can integrating essential oils into that support that.

So, it's really important that we have this relationship base so that essential oils are more relational than transactional. So, you know, we might already have a connecting ritual of bedtime stories at night so we could maybe diffuse something while we're doing that, or we could offer a hand massage right after school to kind of break up the time between like the stress of school and then taking a little break before maybe homework time or something like that.

Melissa’s Journey to Parenting with Essential Oils

doTERRA: That all sounds so incredible. And you mentioned essential oils a couple of times in there. Can you tell us a little bit about your journey to using essential oils with your own children?

Melissa: So, back in 2014, we had some issues with one of our daughters and just experienced the way that the Western medical world wanted to solve all of those. And I was kind of starting to think like, "Ah, is there a better way?"

But I think more importantly, as we started to explore what the world of essential oils offered, because we work with so many children in our own family and then also at the adoption connection, children who have attachment issues, who have had a history of early adversity when they have a complaint in their body or are telling us about an experience they're having they are really looking for their caregivers and the adults in their life to do something about these things that a lot of times are kind of wrapped up in maybe anxious feelings, like somatic feelings in our bodies that we might be having, you know, around big emotions.

And, you know, sometimes it's like the ever-present invisible hurt or whatever. And I love that essential oils give me a really safe solution to say, I can care for you in this way. Like, I can get up, off the sofa and offer you something that will support your body. But I know that it is also safe just in case what you're really trying to tell me is, I need your attention.

And so, I think relationally, it gives us this way to care for kids in a way that they feel really seen and like we're actually doing something in a way that's also safe and will support them kind of no matter what.

Empowering Children with Essential Oils

doTERRA: Absolutely. And along those lines, one of my favorite things about essential oils is how empowering they can be. So, what is the best way to empower our children and help them learn how to use essential oils on their own?

Melissa: Well, I think my kids would probably make fun of me because I often offer an essential oil solution to a lot of things that they come to me with. So, I think just that conversation and knowing that that's an option. And I think the other thing is choice.

So, I learned a long time ago the hard way that unfortunately we don't get to control our kids as much as we would like to. Right? And so, I think being able to offer that as a menu of choices or just offer that like, hey, I could do this for you or are you okay? And not trying to cajole or convince or manipulate or whatever that, you know, like, you know, this would really help you? Please, just please try it.

The other thing is, I think there's so many different ways that we can present oils to kids, and especially for really little kids. I love putting a couple of drops of their favorite oil into one of those little like personal inhalers that you can get like on Amazon that basically is just like a little cotton wick inside this little plastic tube, with a couple of slits in it. Right? And so, it's not messy. A lot of times they can be slipped into backpacks or pencil cases. They're really inexpensive.

So, like if your kids are like my kids and they lose things or break things all the time, like it's not a big deal. It's like a couple of cents, a couple of drops of essential oil. It's not like you're giving them, you know, glass to take to school or, you know, a whole bottle of oils.

And then, if you have kids that get really grumpy and tend to throw things back at you, like they're really like they're not gonna hurt. So, I think that's a really safe and great way to introduce kids to oils so that they can feel really empowered. And you don't have to worry about safety.

doTERRA: I love that. And I love the focus that you put on that control and consent, that it's not something we're trying to force on them. It's something that we give them the option and the solution if they want it.

Melissa: Yeah, and I think modeling too, right? Like I have a lot, out of six kids I only have a handful that will use anything related to oils, but they see me using them and so it's there if they ever choose to use that as part of their journey right now.

Go-To Oils and Routines for Parenting

doTERRA: Melissa, what are some of your go-to oils that you recommend every parent has on hand to use with their children?

Melissa: I think when parents are just starting off, I love talking about the Kid's Collection because it really has something for everything. It's super easy to use. They're already pre-diluted so people don't worry about the safety. We've used them on itty-bitties, even on adults. I think they're a little bit friendlier to families, especially if there's sensory issues. So, maybe there's like smell sensitivity. I think all the oils in the Kid's Collection are a little bit milder when it comes to just like straight up aromatherapy.

So, I'm a huge fan of the Kid's Collection. I also love the oils in the Aroma Essentials Collection. So, if families are looking, you know, to get a diffuser to start right away and looking to try some things, Adaptiv is in that collection, Balance, and Serenity. So, those are all great oils for helping our kids ground and they're just really good for, you know, all those like active bodies that seem to be jumping around all the time.

doTERRA: Before we end, I know you mentioned a couple of things earlier in our conversation, but what are some of your favorite essential oil routines to use with your kids?

Mellissa: So, I like I mentioned earlier, I love pairing essential oils with other routines. So, we use something called the Safe and Sound Protocol in our family and with clients. So, we actually teach families how to pair that specific experience with essential oils. In the middle of the winter, our granddaughter, I'm always, you know, swiping Stronger along her spine as I send her out into the world. So, that's like a fun ritual we have.

And then for any oils that I'm putting like on her tummy, maybe it's like Tamer if she's got a little upset stomach or whatever. We love to draw pictures. Usually, it's a smiley face. I'll use her like belly button as the nose, and we'll do like two eyes and a and a smile. And then I'll let her, like, rub it in and take a deep breath. So, just kind of making it, adding kind of like a little bit of fun and silliness to it all is really, I think, a great idea to kind of invite kids into that.

doTERRA: Yes, I absolutely love that. Melissa, thank you so much for joining us today. I have learned so much and I think everyone else has as well. We really appreciate your insight on how to parent with our essential oils.

Melissa: Well, again, thanks so much for including me. It was super fun.

doTERRA: Thanks for joining us and congratulations on living a healthier lifestyle with essential oils. If you want to try any of the products you learned about, click on the link in the episode description or find a Wellness Advocate near you to place an order today. And remember, if you liked what you heard today, rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.